How Ashtanga Yoga Helped Me Find My Sarcoma: Diana’s story
The Power of Mysore Style Ashtanga
Ashtanga yoga, practiced Mysore style, is quite different from typical gym or studio classes. Mysore style allows students to work through a set sequence of asanas at their own pace, rather than following a guided class structure. Students have full autonomy in this setting. They can practice at their own intensity, opt out of assists, modify poses, or end their session whenever they choose.
While the sequence remains the same, each day on the mat is unique. Factors like mood, energy level, and physical issues—such as injuries—can all affect how the practice feels. This ever-changing practice was a constant in my life—until one day, it led me to a discovery that would change everything.
A Life-Changing Discovery
One summer morning, I felt a sharp pain shoot down my leg during practice. At first, I thought I had injured myself and decided to rest. After two weeks, I visited my primary care physician (PCP). She suspected bursitis and recommended some exercises that resembled many of the asanas I practice in Ashtanga.
This primary care visit left me relatively unsatisfied. I was young, strong and healthy. I exercised regularly, and I didn’t think adding a few more reps was going to make a difference (and it didn’t). So, I scheduled an appointment with an orthopedist.
I first saw a physician’s assistant named David. On the examining table, he bent my leg to 90 degrees and externally rotated it. The pain was so intense that I gave him an involuntary karate-chop to the chest! He wasn’t fazed—apparently, things like this are common in his line of work. He confidently diagnosed me with iliotibial (IT) band syndrome. I was prescribed physical therapy (PT) and scheduled to follow up with the attending physician in a few weeks.
I diligently followed the PT exercises and continued practicing a modified primary series. Despite this, I was genuinely puzzled. I knew my body well from years of practice, and I sensed that this was more than just a routine injury. I continued to modify my practice, but the pain remained. Something wasn’t right.
The Role of Yoga in My Diagnosis
As time went on, I began to doubt the reality of my experience. Sleeping on my right side was uncomfortable, but was it truly painful? My cat sitting on my lap sometimes hurt—was that just a coincidence? The only undeniable evidence was the change in my yoga practice. In all my years of practice, postures had often been challenging, but never painful. Now, the pain during practice was unmistakable.
I yearned to return to my practice (the kleshas are real!). This propelled me to seek further answers. I sent a message to the orthopedist, and he ordered an MRI the next day. The imaging finally revealed the true cause of my discomfort and it was clear that I was going to need to see a different kind of doctor.
Navigating Treatment and Recovery
The MRI results confirmed my worst fears, and I found myself facing a new reality. A tumor encapsulating my IT band had been the source of pain. It mimicked the symptoms of IT band syndrome (so no shade on David!) It was another month before the biopsy and two more weeks before the pathology results came in.
A few days before my 30th birthday, my phone buzzed while I was at work. It was a notification from my healthcare app: I had cancer. I wasn’t prepared for the news to arrive like this: so blunt and impersonal. It hit me hard.
I remember staying at work but not being able to concentrate on anything…eventually I broke down in tears in my small shared office in the arms of my colleagues. They gave me a very sweet sorry-you-have-cancer gift the next day. I wanted to keep working; I didn’t want cancer to take over my life. They helped me keep going, and keep going I did.
Through the radiation, surgery and rehab, family came to stay with us at different times. We did endless jigsaw puzzles, played Magic the Gathering and brewed beer. I kept up my practice, adjusting it to meet my new reality.
Reflections on the Journey
Yoga has always been a central part of my life, offering routine and stability even in the most uncertain times. In the early days of recovery, I started with sun salutations, using the wall for support in downward dog. Within about two weeks, I was practicing yoga nearly every morning in whatever capacity I could manage. When I felt exhausted, I would switch to breathing exercises or meditation.
As my practice evolved, it became more about taking note of what I could do rather than focusing on what I couldn’t.
The practice of Ashtanga, with its emphasis on breath and focus, became a sanctuary where I could process the emotional weight of my diagnosis and treatment. This was essential as I learned to balance my new physical therapy routine with the demands of work and managing a household.
As of writing, I’m two years post-surgery. While I haven’t quite returned to my baseline, I’ve learned to honor my body’s new limitations and have found ways to adapt my practice. This experience has been a powerful reminder of the importance of listening to my body and trusting my instincts. And, I now know that I can adapt to life’s challenges with grace.
The Impact of Ashtanga on My Life
I consider myself lucky. Sarcoma is often diagnosed at much later stages when tumors are larger and have already spread. I discovered the growth on my IT band early, and I’m convinced that yoga practice played a crucial role in this.
Ashtanga saved my leg—and possibly my life. It was the source of my confidence that something was wrong and gave me my power. My long-standing practice allowed me to detect a shift in my body and act quickly.
Yoga connects the mind, body, and spirit. I am most in tune with myself when I maintain my practice, and now I’m committed to continuing my Ashtanga journey for the rest of my life. Whether you’re on a similar journey or facing your own battles, yoga offers a powerful connection to the self that will see you through life’s inevitable challenges.
Stay well and keep practicing, friends.
Yours in practice,
Diana
