Gatekeepers…None shall pass!
I’ve been stuck on Supta Urdhva Pada Vajrasana (SUPV) for years. I probably started trying in earnest in 2020. I kept putting deadlines on the project. “I’ll have it by Christmas.” “Definitely by the summer.” “Should be good by my birthday.” But those deadlines have come and gone many times over, and I’m still trying unsuccessfully to hold my toe from behind my back while I roll forward to a sit. (Why I should even want to do this is something I try not to think about much.)
A “gatekeeper” is a pose whose conditions you must meet in order to move on. In Ashtanga, there are a few along the way. In the Primary Series, for instance, there is holding the bind in Marichyasana D, and later, you must stand up, unaided, from Dropbacks.
Sometimes we choose to bypass the gatekeepers. Which IS a choice you can make, but you’ll only be confronted later with harder versions of this pose. After Marichyasana D, there is Pasasana. After Dropbacks comes Kapotasana.
The work can be avoided in the moment, but it comes back around.
Sometimes, we get stuck on a gatekeeper for a long time. This is fertile ground. Here, in the midst of frustration, we have an opportunity to ask ourselves some questions like, “Do I WANT to do the work (even if it requires so much more of me than Flexi Jim over there?)” and “ If I NEVER get past this point, would I still have reason to get to my mat each day?”
Of course, the answer is yes.
Ashtanga is NOT about having MORE poses. It’s about A) finding the work (tapas) and B) letting the work be its own reward.
The gatekeepers challenge us to stop always wanting and needing more.
Being stuck is also a chance to deepen some of the other projects you have in play. I mean, sure, I still can’t execute SUPV, but man, I’ve gotten so much better at putting my foot behind my head because I’ve had to work that part of the sequence so many times just to get to SUPV. I also have a lot more energy to refine my jumpbacks because my practice isn’t as long as it would be if I kept going.
And anyway, how about some intentionality and patience? I mean, what is the hurry? We are trained away from this more and more with online shopping, streaming, Door Dash… anything we want, whenever we want it.
The Ashtanga system does not abide greed or instant gratification.
So, go ahead, END on your worst pose. Do it every day for years, like I have. You can let it take you down by beating yourself up and trash talking your own efforts. OR, choose to sidestep your ego and have a laugh at yourself. Then, come back tomorrow, and do it again.
